They've been taught that there are no rules, or that if there are, there are 100s of exceptions. Think about this: What's the only 'spelling rule' you can remember?
I bet it's "I before E except after C", isn't it?
And guess what? This isn't a rule at all. It's an observation of what often happens (kind of like a stereotype), but it's not a rule. So of course when we see all those weird 'exceptions', we blame English spelling and think it's crazy, rather than realising that it's the rule that is wrong, not the English spelling system!
But anyway, back to <stationery>.
I shake my head when I see this word spelled incorrectly, because it's just so easy to understand the word (and remember its spelling) when you start by thinking about these questions:
1. What does it mean?
2. How is it built? What related words are there?
So, what does <stationery> mean?
Stationery means things like books and paper - things that are sold by a stationer! (That's your first clue).
(As an aside, a stationer was traditionally a person who sold things from a station or shop - whereas traditionally most sellers were roving pedlars. It was hard to drag all those books and things around, so the stationer would stay in one place to sell his wares).
How is <stationery> built?
This word can be analysed right down to 'state', but I'm not going to go that far at the moment because the issue most people have is not with the 'station' part, it's with the '-ery' or '*-ary' part. To keep things simple, let's just think of it as:
stationer + y --> stationery
(Stationery is sold by a stationer)
Just like:
Confectionery is sold by a confectioner
confectioner + y --> confectionery
Pottery is made by a potter
potter + y --> pottery
Jewellery is sold by a jeweller (UK spelling)
jeweller + y --> jewellery
Haberdashery is sold by (or the shop is run by) a haberdasher
haberdasher + y --> haberdashery
A butchery is run by a butcher
butcher + y --> butchery
A perfumery is run by a perfumer
perfumer + y --> perfumery
The <-er> suffix in all of these words refers to a person who does something, for example:
A builder builds
A robber robs
A drinker drinks
A runner runs
(Read on, and then click on the link to the right 'Doubling Before Suffixes' if you'd like to know why runner and robber have those double letters)
What are some of the words related to <stationery>?
Here's a word matrix, as well as some word sums, that show just a sampling of this very rich word, which (as we saw above) does share a common root/history with the word <stationary> (meaning to be still or not moving).
I'm hoping that after seeing this, there will be fewer people out there getting the word <stationery> wrong, because they'll know it has an <er>, not an <ar> because it is sold by a stationer!
And I hope I won't ever again be sent home a letter from my child's school with his required 'stationary list'!
(SMH)